YOU SAID:
He’d rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in his ear
INTO JAPANESE
彼はむしろバッファローに耳の中に下痢便を吸わせたい
BACK INTO ENGLISH
He'd rather have a buffalo suck diarrhea into his ear
INTO JAPANESE
彼はむしろ水牛に耳に下痢を吸ってもらいたい
BACK INTO ENGLISH
He'd rather have a buffalo suck diarrhea into his ear
That didn't even make that much sense in English.