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Hi my name is Sparkle Rose Destroyer Snow. I am sixteen years old, and am the daughter of Zeus and a unicorn. Yes, Zeus did the dirty with a unicorn. One day I was at my school, Olympian High School for Gifted Mythological Creatures, when suddenly a mysterious letter fell from the sky into my hands. It was written in ancient Greek, but I could read it because I'm just that cool. "Dear Sparkle, your destiny is to save the world from the dark lord, Voldemort Hades. He has stolen the one ring to rule them all and is planning to use it to enslave everyone. You must gather your friends, Garry Potter, Hoemione Granger, and Donald Weasley, to form the Fellowship of the Phoenix. Together, you will destroy the ring in the fires of Mount Doom, which is actually just a big volcano in Hawaii. But beware, for there are many dangers along the way, like trolls, centaurs, and the dark arts club at school." I was shocked. I mean, I always knew I was special, but this was like, super special. So I went to find Garry Potter, who was playing quidditch and looked like a complete noob. "Garry," I said, "we must leave immediately! We have to save the world from Voldemort Hades!" Garry looked at me like I had three heads, but then he saw the seriousness in my eyes. "Who? Who are you?" "I'm Sparkle Rose Destroyer Snow, the half unicorn, half goddess," I said proudly. "What? Another weird person? We already have Ebony!" yelled Draco Maldonado. I was intrigued. Who is Ebony? I thought. "Who is Ebony?" "She says she’s a vampire," Garry whispered. I rolled my eyes. "Vampires are so last millennium." And then Ebony appeared. Ebony has pale, white skin and ebony black hair (which she was named after) that reaches her mid-back. Her hair has purple streaks and red tips. Her eyes are icy blue. Ebony's style is based on gothic fashion and buys all of her clothes from Hot Topic. Even though Ebony is a vampire, her teeth are straight and white. Oh, she’s pretty. I MEAN— WHAT AM I SAYING?? Focus, Sparkle. "Back off prep!" Ebony slapped me across the face. "Draco is mine!" "Well, I kissed him!" I said, trying to one-up her. "Well, I did the dirty thing with him! Beat that u prep!!" "Did you use protection?!" I yelled. "Because if you didn’t, you’re going to have magical AIDS! Professor McDonalds taught us!" Suddenly, a girl with pretty hair, and looked overall super duper uber pretty, wearing fishnets stockings. She was wearing an outfit from Star Trek. "Hello! My name is Mary Sue Anna Aurora McLovegood. I've come to help you on your quest!" "Wait, what quest? And why do you look like you're dressed for a sci-fi convention?" Garry asked, his eyes wide with confusion. "To save the world, obviously!" I exclaimed. "And you can totally come with us!" "Wait, when? No one agreed to this!" Donald Weasley protested. "I agree." Hoemione said. Ugh, I hated her. So I pushed her into a well and Donald just doesn’t exist anymore. And so, Garry and I, along with Mary Sue, set off on our quest. We encountered many obstacles, like the time we had to fight a pop star (Britney Spears) who had been turned into a hydra by Voldemort Hades. And let me tell you, those eight heads could sing! But we prevailed, because I had the power of love and a magical guitar that played songs so beautiful, it made the hydra weep. But the biggest challenge was when we had to face Voldemort Hades himself. He was in the middle of a mall, holding the one ring, surrounded by his minions—mall cops and emos. "Give me the ring!" I demanded, my unicorn powers charging up. "Never!" Voldemort Hades cackled, "You'll never defeat me!" But I had a secret weapon. I pulled out my AK-47 and shot him. But then he got back up and rushed over to me, and suddenly, it was………………..………Ebony! And she bit Voldemort Hades on the neck, and then he died. "Thanks, Ebony," I said, surprised. "No problem, prep." She then kissed me. And then we all lived happily ever after, and I got to be the prom queen and marry Ebony and also we had like 17637266462646625376263636716392828728367272736636727 kids. P.S. Sparkle got into MCR purely because Ebony likes it.

INTO JAPANESE

こんにちは、スパークル・ローズ・デストロイヤー・スノーです。16歳で、ゼウスとユニコーンの娘です。そう、ゼウスはユニコーンに悪事を働いたのです。ある日、私が通うオリンピアン高校（神話上の生き物の才能を授かる学校）にいた時、突然、空から謎の手紙が私の手に落ちてきました。古代ギリシャ語で書かれていましたが、私は読み取ることができました。

BACK INTO ENGLISH

Hello, I'm Sparkle Rose Destroyer Snow. I'm 16 years old and the daughter of Zeus and a unicorn. Yes, Zeus did something bad to a unicorn. One day, while I was at Olympian High School (a school that bestows the talents of mythical creatures), a mysterious being appeared from the sky.

INTO JAPANESE

こんにちは、スパークル・ローズ・デストロイヤー・スノーです。16歳で、ゼウスとユニコーンの娘です。そう、ゼウスはユニコーンに悪いことをしたんです。ある日、オリンピアン高校（神話上の生き物の才能を授ける学校）に通っていた時、空から謎の存在が現れました。

BACK INTO ENGLISH

Hello, I'm Sparkle Rose Destroyer Snow. I'm 16 years old and the daughter of Zeus and a unicorn. Yes, Zeus did something bad to the unicorn. One day, while I was attending Olympian High School (a school that bestows the talents of mythical creatures), a mysterious being appeared from the sky.

INTO JAPANESE

こんにちは、スパークル・ローズ・デストロイヤー・スノーです。16歳で、ゼウスとユニコーンの娘です。そう、ゼウスはユニコーンに悪いことをしたんです。ある日、オリンピアン高校（神話上の生き物の才能を授ける学校）に通っていた時、空から謎の存在が現れました。

BACK INTO ENGLISH

Hello, I'm Sparkle Rose Destroyer Snow. I'm 16 years old and the daughter of Zeus and a unicorn. Yes, Zeus did something bad to the unicorn. One day, while I was attending Olympian High School (a school that bestows the talents of mythical creatures), a mysterious being appeared from the sky.