YOU SAID:

that sentence is grammatically correct, but it's wordy and hard to read

INTO JAPANESE

その文は文法的に正しいですが、言葉が多くて読みにくいです

BACK INTO ENGLISH

The sentence is grammatically correct, but it has many words and is difficult to read

INTO JAPANESE

文は文法的に正しいですが、単語が多くて読みにくいです

BACK INTO ENGLISH

The sentence is grammatically correct, but it has many words and is difficult to read